


Loss

by Spooky_Spooks



Category: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Ransom Riggs
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Canonical Character Death, Dreams and Nightmares, Flashbacks, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Post-Break Up, Sort of? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:13:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26099194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spooky_Spooks/pseuds/Spooky_Spooks
Summary: Millard facing the repercussions and grief the loss of Victor brought.
Relationships: Millard Nullings/Victor Bruntley
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	Loss

**Author's Note:**

> There are numerous (though brief) depictions of Victor's death, mostly with the mention of blood, so be careful if that sort of thing bothers you in any way. 
> 
> P.S. Maybe get yourself some tissues and some water? You might need them.

_ There were screams, so many screams. And there was blood, so much blood. It wasn’t him, couldn’t be him. Millard pushed his way through the cluster of his screaming and sobbing friends only to have his worst fears confirmed. It was Victor, bleeding and battered, barely clinging to life. _

Millard awoke with a scream. Although many years had passed since that day, Millard could remember every detail as though it had only just happened. He choked out a sob as he curled in on himself, wishing not for the first time that it had been merely a nightmare. If only Victor had spoken to him that morning rather than leaving a note, that way, maybe Millard could have convinced him to stay, or at least been with him. As he submitted to a night of wallowing in his own heartbreak, he heard the door to his room slowly creek open.

“Millard? Is everything alright?” Emma’s voice called from the doorway, quiet and gentle.

As if her words drove a new spike of hurt into his heart Millard began to sob more heavily. “W-where’s Miss P-P?” He managed to choke out.

“Still at the council meeting,” Emma replied, slipping into the room and closing the door behind her. “What happened? Was it a nightmare?”

Millard nodded, although he knew she couldn’t see it. “It was  _ the _ nightmare.”

“Oh, Millard,” A look of pity crossed Emma’s face as she moved to sit next to him before wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace. “I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?” Millard sobbed, barely able to comprehend Emma’s words. “I could have saved him.”

Emma only clutched him tighter to her as she tried to rub his back in a soothing manner. “You know that’s not true. He had his mind set on going, there was no way you could have stopped him.”

“I could have gone with him,” Millard replied quietly. “At least that way he wouldn’t have been alone.”

“We all regret what happened,” Emma told him, near tears herself. “But for the record, we’re all glad we still have you and he would be too.”

“That doesn’t make it any easier to bear,” Millard whispered, almost ashamed to admit it.

“I know,” Emma told him equally quiet, holding him tighter and allowing him his grief.

_ It had been a quiet morning, and Millard wanted to go into town, for once not to study its inhabitants, but to spend time with Victor. While he had been worried at first when Victor had shown interest in him, he had now come to like it, and return the affection in kind. Today, he decided, was for him and Victor to spend together, without the interruption of any of the others. He put the book he had been reading back onto the shelf and walked to Victor’s room, a wide smile plastered on his face as he imagined how the rest of the day would go. When he arrived at Victor’s door, Millard raised his arm to knock only to have the door slowly swing open on its own. _

_ “Victor?” He called out, taking a step into the room. _

_ No reply came, the room was empty. Millard was about to leave and look for Victor somewhere else when something caught his eye. On the mirror was a note, which Millard knew for sure was not there the day before. He didn’t know Victor to be the type to leave notes, especially not for himself as this one seemed to be. Against his better judgment, Millard stepped further into the room, taking the note and opening it to reveal it’s contents. _

_ ‘Hey, Mill. I’m guessing you’re the one that’s going to find this, but if you’re not him, then give this to Millard I guess? Don’t worry, I left notes for Wyn and Miss P too, they should find them soon if they haven’t already. I guess I should tell you what this is about, huh? I can’t stay here anymore. I can’t stand living the same day over and over again all while knowing the world is changing and growing without me. I have to go. I need to experience things, live my life, and age the way I’m supposed to. I know Wyn will be safe here, and she’s happy so I’m not taking her with me. I can’t take that from her. I would take you with me, believe me, I’ve thought about it. I can’t though. You’re devoted to writing your book, and you’re happy here. Besides, you know a normal life wouldn’t work for us. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you this in person. If I find out how I’ll send you letters from where ever I am. I’ll miss you. _

_ \- Victor’ _

_ Millard’s stomach dropped. Victor couldn’t be gone. He couldn’t be leaving, not like this. The thought shattered his heart as soon as it crossed his mind. He felt like his heart was pounding out of his chest, like the contents of his stomach were stirring themselves up, trying to escape through his mouth. The world was dangerous and Victor was alone. What if something happened to him? What if he needs their help? They needed to get him back, convince him to stay in the loop. Where he would be safe. _

“Did I ever show you the note he left me?” Millard asked after a few minutes had passed and his sobs had toned down to sniffles.

Emma stayed silent for a moment as if waiting for him to continue. “No, you didn’t.”

“I lost it when the loop collapsed,” He confessed, the pain clear in his voice. “I can still remember what it said though, every word.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” She replied, failing to keep the pity out of her voice. “I know it must be hard.”

“I need to tell someone,” Millard told her, voice weak. “He said he thought about taking me with him. He said he didn’t because I was devoted to my book and that I was happy there.”

“Weren’t you?” Emma asked after a moment's hesitation.

“Yes, I was,” he admitted, voice heavy with emotion. “But I was happy with him too.”

Emma was silent, not knowing how to respond. As she was working to formulate a response, Millard broke the silence.

“He also said that a normal life wouldn’t work for us. Because of my peculiarity,” Millard continued, his voice breaking into a sob as he finished. “He didn’t mention it specifically, but he didn’t have to.”

_ As soon as he hears the clatter from downstairs, Millard knew Miss Peregrine had found Victor’s note. Tucking the note in his hands away in his pocket, he raced down the stairs. He made it down the stairs just in time to see Miss Peregrine shouting for the others to stay in the house as she rushed out the door. He wanted to follow but knew that would do nothing but worry her and that he was more likely to get in the way than he was to help. He sat on the bottom stair, trying desperately to slow the rapid beating of his heart. He was lost in his thoughts, unaware of the time that was passing. That was until he heard the screams. _

“Millard…” Emma trailed off, not knowing how to respond to such a revelation.

“It’s alright,” Millard replied, his voice betraying his true feelings. “He was right, it never would have worked.”

“Is...is that why you’re insecure about it sometimes?” Emma asked after a long pause. “Your invisibility, I mean.”

“I’m not insecure about it,” He replied. “I just wish I could turn it off sometimes.”

Emma raised an eyebrow.

“I have been since long before that day,” He admitted, his voice so quiet Emma could barely hear. “Though it certainly didn’t help.”

“Millard, your peculiarity is something to love,” She lectured, though her voice was gentle. “It’s part of what makes you, you.”

“I know that,” Millard told her, sounding exhausted. “Miss Peregrine reminds me regularly.”

“I’m sorry, I just worry,” Emma confessed, letting out a sigh before continuing. “Do you want to try going back to sleep?”

Millard sighed. “I suppose that would be wise.”

“Alright. Goodnight Millard,” Emma said, getting up and beginning to cross the room.

“Wait!” Millard called out, grasping at her wrist as if it were a lifeline. “Can you stay? Until I fall asleep? I don’t want to think about it again.”

Her brow softened as she once again returned to the bed and wrapped him in a comforting hug. “Of course, whatever you need Millard.”

“Thank you,” came the boy’s whispered reply.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, I just wrote too many happy fics for these two and needed some angst. I'll probably write a fic where Victor never dies next if that's any consolation?


End file.
